Dear Parent, Love Your Child's Teacher

I often think about Meet Your Teacher Day, or Curriculum Night, or even Parent-Teacher conferences. I think about the drop-offs and the pick-ups, the rushed "so-and-so is being picked up by the babysitter today," and my whisper and smile - "OK, got it!" I think about the "We're looking for so-and-so's sweater... again... can we hit the lost and found?" "Yep, go for it. Hope you find it." Smile. Thumbs up. Pat on the shoulder.

I think of all the things I'd like to say to parents about their children. As their teacher who is also a parent. How there's no time for me to express what it is to teach them. Ever.

I'll be the first to admit that I sometimes fantasize about a job which might pay a little less but allows me to sit at a desk wearing pretty shoes, or have a real lunch break, or tell my boss that this year, I'm going to work "4 tens" instead of whatever hours I actually work as a teacher, just so I can spend one more day at home with my kid while she's still little.

But the honest truth is that I love my job. I love what I do, even when it's hard. Especially when it's hard. Because teachers change the world. We have the greatest, scariest, hardest, heaviest, "funnest" job in the world, and it's so important that we get it right. So I'd like to take a moment to write an open letter to parents of students everywhere, from teachers. Because I know, as a teacher, I'm not alone in these sentiments. So here goes...

Dear Parent,
As your child's teacher, there are a few things I'd like you to know about me. A way for you to know a little bit about me since I'll be the primary adult in your kid's life for about 6 hours a day, 5 days per week, for about 9 months. You may know these things already. You may be surprised by what you read. But you should know:

1. I love your kid. No, really. From Day 1, I love your child. Even if your kid is the one who is always interrupting me, or always the first one to talk the moment I take a breath, or if your kid is the one who runs to the line just to be the line leader every time even though we have a set line up order, or if your kid is always sick, or always late, or always picking his nose, or can't zip her own jacket, or can't read, or is the class bully... I love your kid. Kids are kids. They have good hearts. They just want to do the right thing, even if they don't know how. And for this school year, they are all my responsibility. And I love each one of them in their own right.

2. If you volunteer, I appreciate you. If you come in regularly to help, even if I don't have "much" for you to do, or if you think you are doing the dumbest, most boring thing, whatever it is you're doing, I need it done. And your help does NOT go unnoticed. But if you only come in once that year, or randomly pop in, or do something from home, I appreciate that too. I know it's not easy to take time out of your day to help in our classroom, or do something from home after you've spent your day doing whatever you do, then doing a project for me after the kids go to bed. What you do makes a difference for me, and for your child. We both notice that you do something to show you care about education.

3. If you don't volunteer because you can't be there during the day, I feel you SO HARD. Because you have to remember, I will likely never be able to volunteer in my kids' classrooms during school hours. I don't judge you for not being at every class party (or any class party), or your kid taking the bus to and from school. Life and work are hard. We all do our best to support our families, and if your job and life means you can't do something in my classroom between 8 and 3, so be it (and see #5 and #6). There are so many other ways to show your kid love and appreciation.

4. There are a few things your kid needs to be able to do by Kindergarten: tie his shoes (this one I can not emphasize enough), blow her nose, wash his hands, cover her cough, eat vegetables (yes, I'm serious), and zip/button his or her own coat. Those things may seem small with just your one kiddo, but add 25 or so more into the mix, and you can see how the whole day could easily become all shoe-tying and disease prevention and no learning! If your child can do those things, he or she can hang pretty well in school overall.

5. I need your help. I can do a lot with your kid. I can teach him to read, and I can teach her to do math. I can inspire her to become a scientist and I can show him the joy of writing. But I can't fight anti-school messages at home. If you don't engage your child in the importance of learning, I can't singlehandedly show him how powerful an educated mind is. Help your kid with his homework. Ask your kid to tell you exactly what she did at school today. I guarantee you'll see a difference in school performance if you do.

6. I need you to trust me. My job is to keep your child safe, and after that, to teach him not only academics, but social skills and work habits. If your kid gets in trouble with me, I need you to work with me, not against me. Remember #1, when I said I love your child? I do. And sometimes that means tough love. I might give your daughter a consequence that actually means something to her. So she'll come home and be upset. And your instinct may be to come back to me in her defense. Ask me what happened. I'll tell you. I promise I'm as fair and reasonable as possible in every situation. I only ask that you step back before you come to me: Are you helping your child by stepping in right away, or interrupting an opportunity for a teachable moment? Sadness, anger, frustration, and learning curves are part of life. If this is a matter of safety, or bullying, by all means, bring it to me. But if it's more of a life lesson in resilience, recognize that and help your child work it out.

7. I really love my job. Teaching is hard. No doubt about it. But thousands of teachers leave the profession each year because it is just too hard, or thankless, or not what they imagined it to be. I understand their sentiments, and I don't fault them. But every fall, I come back, fresh-faced, excited, and as nervous as the kids. Will it be a good year? Will I succeed in my goals? Will I learn something new? And every year I'm so glad I do what I do come back. It's a labor of love that I wouldn't trade for the world. It's never a question whether or not I'll teach again next year. Of course I will. I really love my job.

In the end, I just want you to know that your child's outcome in school and in life matter to me.

You and I, we need to be a team. Let's talk. Let's communicate. Let's work together. Because together, we can help form some pretty fantastic kids into some downright amazing adults.

I'm glad I wrote this here. You will probably never see it, because for the most part, I don't cross paths with many of my students' families outside of school. And that's as it should be. You have your world and I have mine.

So for now, our interactions will be limited to quick passes in the hallway, or short emails, or 20 minute parent-teacher conferences. But I hope that somewhere in there, our eyes may lock, and you'll see a glimmer of these sentiments in my gaze, or hear it in my voice as I talk to your little one. And maybe you can breathe a little more easily knowing that your son or daughter is in good hands today.

Love,
Your Child's Teacher