February 25

Today I'm giving up the ridiculous amount of stress that just hit me like a brick wall. I hate the end of the month. I'm giving it to God. I'm saying a prayer. A really big prayer.

Goodnight.

February 18-23

OK, so I promise I actually did do these day of, I just didn't quite get to blogging them. And suddenly it's a week late. Here goes:

February 19: I gave up feeling frustrated with Olivia on her first day of gymnastics class for not wanting to follow along with the class and participate. I was surprised how quickly I thought of only myself and how it made me look that she was behaving that way. She's just a little kid! I realized afterward that she had not eaten anything since about 6:30 that morning and reminded myself that she had woken up much earlier than usual. Poor kid. I dealt with a lot of mommy guilt on Saturday. I tried to give it up to God.

February 20: I gave up feeling bummed that I had to go into my classroom, because it ended up being really worth it. I am still feeling the effects of how much that helped me this week.

February 21: I tried to give up weighing in and having gained 1/2 of a pound after 4 weeks of losing a pound or more each. Including Superbowl week. Including one week where I think all I ate all week was cookies. Yet this past week when I ate next to nothing for 2 days while being sick, I gained 1/2 a pound. Long term? Not worth the disappointment. I gave it up to God and moved on. I tried, anyway.

February 22: I gave up not even getting to the store until after 6pm, and getting home at 6:50. Which meant Olivia's "dinner" was applesauce and nilla wafers at the store, and milk and carrots and a banana in her PJ's 10 minutes after bedtime. I try really hard to give her good structure and sit at the table and build a healthy relationship with food for her (and work on that same thing for me). Last night I failed at that. I also had to give up a great deal of anger I had toward our dog who seems to be determined not to every be fully housebroken. I needed a lot of help from God yesterday.

February 23: Today, I give up the anxiety I feel about the dentist. As in, I give up today's anxiety... baby steps, right? I had Step 1 of what is apparently a 2 step root canal. Because once just isn't enough! See, some of that anxiety is still holding on strong despite my concentrated efforts to give it up today. I'm giving it up to God. I'm saying a prayer (or 5).

Dear Parent, Love Your Child's Teacher

I often think about Meet Your Teacher Day, or Curriculum Night, or even Parent-Teacher conferences. I think about the drop-offs and the pick-ups, the rushed "so-and-so is being picked up by the babysitter today," and my whisper and smile - "OK, got it!" I think about the "We're looking for so-and-so's sweater... again... can we hit the lost and found?" "Yep, go for it. Hope you find it." Smile. Thumbs up. Pat on the shoulder.

I think of all the things I'd like to say to parents about their children. As their teacher who is also a parent. How there's no time for me to express what it is to teach them. Ever.

I'll be the first to admit that I sometimes fantasize about a job which might pay a little less but allows me to sit at a desk wearing pretty shoes, or have a real lunch break, or tell my boss that this year, I'm going to work "4 tens" instead of whatever hours I actually work as a teacher, just so I can spend one more day at home with my kid while she's still little.

But the honest truth is that I love my job. I love what I do, even when it's hard. Especially when it's hard. Because teachers change the world. We have the greatest, scariest, hardest, heaviest, "funnest" job in the world, and it's so important that we get it right. So I'd like to take a moment to write an open letter to parents of students everywhere, from teachers. Because I know, as a teacher, I'm not alone in these sentiments. So here goes...

Dear Parent,
As your child's teacher, there are a few things I'd like you to know about me. A way for you to know a little bit about me since I'll be the primary adult in your kid's life for about 6 hours a day, 5 days per week, for about 9 months. You may know these things already. You may be surprised by what you read. But you should know:

1. I love your kid. No, really. From Day 1, I love your child. Even if your kid is the one who is always interrupting me, or always the first one to talk the moment I take a breath, or if your kid is the one who runs to the line just to be the line leader every time even though we have a set line up order, or if your kid is always sick, or always late, or always picking his nose, or can't zip her own jacket, or can't read, or is the class bully... I love your kid. Kids are kids. They have good hearts. They just want to do the right thing, even if they don't know how. And for this school year, they are all my responsibility. And I love each one of them in their own right.

2. If you volunteer, I appreciate you. If you come in regularly to help, even if I don't have "much" for you to do, or if you think you are doing the dumbest, most boring thing, whatever it is you're doing, I need it done. And your help does NOT go unnoticed. But if you only come in once that year, or randomly pop in, or do something from home, I appreciate that too. I know it's not easy to take time out of your day to help in our classroom, or do something from home after you've spent your day doing whatever you do, then doing a project for me after the kids go to bed. What you do makes a difference for me, and for your child. We both notice that you do something to show you care about education.

3. If you don't volunteer because you can't be there during the day, I feel you SO HARD. Because you have to remember, I will likely never be able to volunteer in my kids' classrooms during school hours. I don't judge you for not being at every class party (or any class party), or your kid taking the bus to and from school. Life and work are hard. We all do our best to support our families, and if your job and life means you can't do something in my classroom between 8 and 3, so be it (and see #5 and #6). There are so many other ways to show your kid love and appreciation.

4. There are a few things your kid needs to be able to do by Kindergarten: tie his shoes (this one I can not emphasize enough), blow her nose, wash his hands, cover her cough, eat vegetables (yes, I'm serious), and zip/button his or her own coat. Those things may seem small with just your one kiddo, but add 25 or so more into the mix, and you can see how the whole day could easily become all shoe-tying and disease prevention and no learning! If your child can do those things, he or she can hang pretty well in school overall.

5. I need your help. I can do a lot with your kid. I can teach him to read, and I can teach her to do math. I can inspire her to become a scientist and I can show him the joy of writing. But I can't fight anti-school messages at home. If you don't engage your child in the importance of learning, I can't singlehandedly show him how powerful an educated mind is. Help your kid with his homework. Ask your kid to tell you exactly what she did at school today. I guarantee you'll see a difference in school performance if you do.

6. I need you to trust me. My job is to keep your child safe, and after that, to teach him not only academics, but social skills and work habits. If your kid gets in trouble with me, I need you to work with me, not against me. Remember #1, when I said I love your child? I do. And sometimes that means tough love. I might give your daughter a consequence that actually means something to her. So she'll come home and be upset. And your instinct may be to come back to me in her defense. Ask me what happened. I'll tell you. I promise I'm as fair and reasonable as possible in every situation. I only ask that you step back before you come to me: Are you helping your child by stepping in right away, or interrupting an opportunity for a teachable moment? Sadness, anger, frustration, and learning curves are part of life. If this is a matter of safety, or bullying, by all means, bring it to me. But if it's more of a life lesson in resilience, recognize that and help your child work it out.

7. I really love my job. Teaching is hard. No doubt about it. But thousands of teachers leave the profession each year because it is just too hard, or thankless, or not what they imagined it to be. I understand their sentiments, and I don't fault them. But every fall, I come back, fresh-faced, excited, and as nervous as the kids. Will it be a good year? Will I succeed in my goals? Will I learn something new? And every year I'm so glad I do what I do come back. It's a labor of love that I wouldn't trade for the world. It's never a question whether or not I'll teach again next year. Of course I will. I really love my job.

In the end, I just want you to know that your child's outcome in school and in life matter to me.

You and I, we need to be a team. Let's talk. Let's communicate. Let's work together. Because together, we can help form some pretty fantastic kids into some downright amazing adults.

I'm glad I wrote this here. You will probably never see it, because for the most part, I don't cross paths with many of my students' families outside of school. And that's as it should be. You have your world and I have mine.

So for now, our interactions will be limited to quick passes in the hallway, or short emails, or 20 minute parent-teacher conferences. But I hope that somewhere in there, our eyes may lock, and you'll see a glimmer of these sentiments in my gaze, or hear it in my voice as I talk to your little one. And maybe you can breathe a little more easily knowing that your son or daughter is in good hands today.

Love,
Your Child's Teacher

February 17

Today I'm still trying to give up the fact that I can't find a substitute to cover my classes for the next 2 days, so I can't attend a training I was really looking forward to. I'm still upset about it but trying not to be because it's not in my control anymore.

I'm giving it to God. I'm saying a prayer. Goodnight.

February 15 and 16

Today I'm giving up the fact that I forgot to post yesterday because I have been feeling really yucky. And I'm also giving up our afternoon of TV and movie watching because I feel so awful.

I'm giving it to God. I'm saying a prayer (that I'll feel better soon!) Goodnight.

February 14th

Today I'm giving up that I definitely "forced" Olivia to nap a second time this afternoon after she took a really short nap this morning and I was really tired so I spent a great deal of time getting her to go to sleep. Did she need that sleep? Maybe. Would she have taken that nap by choice? Probably not. But I really needed it.

So maybe I didn't force it. But it was some pretty serious encouraging.

I'm giving it to God. I'm saying a prayer. Goodnight.

February 13

Today I'm giving up the anxiety that I feel about Olivia sleeping most of the day. I panicked at the 2 hour mark of her second nap because I was convinced she had hit her head at daycare and no one had noticed and she was on the brink of losing consciousness. Yeah, hi. I'm that mom. She's probably just a little sick or having a growth spurt.

I'm giving it to God. I'm saying a prayer. Goodnight.

P.S. my predictive text always corrects the word "God" to the word "Good." I've thought about leaving it multiple times.

February 12

Today I'm giving God my week. My week which was so full of ups and downs. A week with my favorite church service, a fun family night, and a time when a person from Spain complimented my Spanish (eek! Seriously! 😎). A week so filled with stress that I physically hurt, and a week during which I cried, more than once, about so many things. I'm giving it all to God today. Thanking God for the good, and thanking God that I survived the bad. And praying for next week to be better.

I'm giving it to God. I'm saying a prayer. Goodnight.

February 11

Today I give up resenting the constant messy state of my classroom. My students learn, my teaching is still quality, and the only person affected by my messy desk is me. I'm giving it up today. I'm saying a prayer. Goodnight.

Lent

I've never done well with Lent. If I give something up, I always bring it back within days. If I take something on, i get off track and never get back to it.

This year, I'm not sure if it's "the right way" to do Lent, but I'm trying something new. Instead of giving up one thing or another, I'm going to give up something small each day. Maybe an unpleasant interaction with someone, maybe my own expectations of myself to be perfect at something, maybe just giving up a negative thought. But whatever it is, I'm going to give it up. Give it to God. Say a prayer. And refocus.

If you want to follow me in this journey, I'll be posting my daily "giving up" on the blog.

Today, I give my frustration around report cards. There is one aspect that the district fails to support every year, and today that really got to me. I'm giving it up. I'm saying a prayer. Goodnight.