Yes, fun. So I looked up the program, made myself a giant wall calendar, and picked a goal: Eugene's Butte to Butte 5K. I figured, if I'm going to do this, I need something that's going to hold me to it. Nothing like parting with money to keep me focused on a goal. Seriously. If you want me to do something, make me pay for it. I'm a cheapskate.
I completed the Butte to Butte 5K in 2012. I was hooked. Not sure I liked racing, but I had hit the goal of running for 30 minutes straight (with C25K), and in fact at that point the 5K took me nearly 45 minutes. And, to my own personal amazement, I kept running. Yeah, me, the non-runner. I ran a few times per week, for at least 30 minutes, gradually working up my stamina.
I entered a few other races. I liked them more. I still joked about that "runner's high" people talk about, fully agreeing with the meme I found:
No, seriously, there were times when I was really just glad I didn't die. But I still kept at it.
I was learning to challenge myself in ways I had either never known, or just forgotten how to do. I set distance goals. I tried to increase my pace. I changed my route. I ran in places I wasn't familiar with, not worrying about time or distance. I experienced what it was like to "run a city" in order to get my bearings. It was liberating, inspiring, and downright pride-inducing. I felt confident, strong, and healthy.
People think I'm joking when I tell them that running saved my life. It's true. I have discovered a side to myself that I love. I forgive myself when I run. I allow my mind to wander, or I go out with a purpose. If I run slow, I'm OK with it. If I cover a new, longer distance, I'm elated. I allow myself to be uncomfortable when I run, and to explore those feelings, both physically and emotionally. I accept myself when I run. Just think about the power of that statement: I accept myself when I run.
I spend time reading about running: how to do it better, faster, safer, differently. I read about where to run. I observe where my friends run, and look for "dream races." I have actually tried to talk my husband into planning a vacation around a race.
The way I talk about running, you'd think I would have completed marathons, or won races. No. The farthest I've ever run is a 10K - about 6.2 miles. The Butte to Butte 10K, as a matter of fact. My usual distance is a 5K, the fastest of which I've run in just under 32 minutes (still haven't hit that 30 minute mark!). But I've learned that it doesn't (always) matter, for me, how long, or how far, or how fast. It's just that I do it, and that afterwards, I feel like Superwoman.
So now you know why I've been missing it so much during pregnancy. It's not that running is a pregnancy no-no. I've been reminded, by well-intentioned folks, that "It is OK to run during pregnancy, you know that right? Have you tried it?" I should add that the people who have said this to me do not run. Fools. Of course I know it's OK! Of course I have tried it! It's just that this pregnancy and running have not worked out. And I have made a choice to choose what is right for my body right now to wait, and return to running post baby. And I'm slowly allowing myself to be OK with that decision.
As I reflect on running, I realize that the process of learning to run has taught me so many things, and has prepared me for other challenges in my life. I have learned to persevere. I have learned to be patient and forgiving, of myself and of others. And I know I will be able to return to running, even though I'm taking this "time off" while pregnant. After my daughter is born, running will continue to help me through the trials of parenting. Hopefully, I'll be able to set a healthy example for my daughter, showing her that fitness is important and valuable. Maybe one day we'll run together.
No comments:
Post a Comment